Update and Plans for the Blog
I started this blog to dip my toe back into posting online after a period of solitude. Talking about books and movies in an inch-deep, mile-wide way, in posts designed to be skimmed, on a webpage with no way to contact me, was just about the safest possible risk to take. Slowly, I've built capacity along the way. Thanks to everyone who's been there for the ride. The journey continues.
I dont like or trust social media companies any better now than I ever did before. Regardless, I'm on a couple more platforms now, because I'm entitled to use these tools and to be part of the stupid world we all live in. I'm using instagram, which does suck ass, but I have quickly found way more relevant opportunities, irl events, and local news there than I was ever able to find by cobbling together listservs and looking out for bulletins around the neighbourhood. It's an adequate complement to the more meaningful parts of life; it's servicable for some of my career needs.
I'm on letterboxd, too, and I just finished logging all of my watches from the past 6 years. Short movie reviews/ratings will go there from now on, and I won't be doing yearly roundups on the blog anymore. I'd like to post more focused essays and themed lists here, when ideas come up.
I've read a lot since the last time I posted a book roundup, taking notes along the way. I could just share those, but I'm wondering about changing the format, posting more one-off reviews, annotated bibliographies on a given theme, or comp-lit essays... And then I get overwhelmed by possibility. But I do want to share, when I get the chance. I know authors want their shit reviewed on goodreads but I just can't make myself do that. I don't want my thoughts on anyone's book to be so directly tied to an aggregated star rating, or so easy for the author to stumble upon. My prior goodreads reviews haunt me, harsh and blunt far beyond what my own skills warrant. Maybe I'll go back there one day, and just skip the star-rating aspect. But it doesn't interest me at the moment.
I'm submitting writing again (a couple poems have been accepted already, look out for details to come); I'm going to as many cheap in-person events as I can; I'm volunteering so I can go to some for free, because I have more time than money. I'm making what art I can, and releasing what I can stand to. I cannot die not having tried. I can't avoid people and organizations out of a fear of being exploited and abused, even though both of those are fairly likely to happen now and then. I also can't keep myself silent and invisible for fear of being wrong, making a mistake, contributing in some way to harm because I didn't know enough. Even though I've been treated very badly at times by people who are afraid of straightforward, honest conversations about accountability, I still have to believe that talking to people has some ability to resolve conflicts, or at least to gain you supportive allies when conflicts turn toxic. I have ceded ground before by assuming that everyone will naturally side with whoever has hurt me, that the abuse will only stop if I extricate myself completely.
I've written+drawn a 32page furry comic; it's called Water Monitor, it's about trauma and unreality, and it'll be for sale somewhere, sometime. I'm really happy with how it came out. It is exactly how I wanted it to be. Now, I just need to find the way of distributing it which makes the most sense.
I've also got a poetry zine called Justification of Life, the un-writing of a suicide note. It reads aloud pretty well, and I've enjoyed doing so when I've had the chance. I'm experimenting with a few different mediums for it, and will share those as they become available. Readable-but-imperfect misprints have been popping up in little free libraries around the city.... how interesting.
Finally, I have an itch page now, currently hosting FREW/HORT and Marrow in the Stockyards, but with more projects soon to come.
Thank you so much for reading over the years. I look forward to what this blog shall become, and I hope to see y'all in some of these other places, too. Love and solidarity.